Burglars and Bitches

Hooo man, a pretty busy weekend. Turd Burglar was, in my humble opinion an absolute angel, he tried soooooo hard not to burgle turds, he even resisted until my very last class. Our personal favorite, novice am western pleasure. I would be kind to say that TB was "phoning it in" at this point, in that he didn't really care what I wanted, he was going to fly around and pass and I could just go straight to hell if I didn't like it. Which is exactly where I ended up. Bastard.

Burglars get tired sometimes, soooo tired.

My deep embarrasment of a rope gate was oh-so-luckily caught on tape by my dear friends at the show, I am most certain I will never live that one down, but it was pretty awesome how badly I screwed it up. I cant think of one thing, besides falling off, I could have done to do the rope gate any "wronger". Good times, good times.

Well let me share with you all some observations about breed shows, especially big, competitive breed shows. Them bitches is good. Really good.

The other thing I noticed is that there was a decided and happy absence of the "long manes" everyone is so sure are making a comeback. Didn't see a damn one, actually. Thank God for being merciful.

Anyone who tells you that you can show breed without a trainer is freaking lying to you. I would have been curled up in a teeeny tiny ball - sniviling, sniviling and wetting, actually. If you are just starting out, you better get a trainer, or else you will end up wetting your pants and going home with dick-squat. Believe me Ammy's or open riders may be able to do it, but if you havent had like 400 years experience, you will be destroyed.

Body shave your horse, better yet, keep it under lights from Oct on, NOT ONE non-yahoo horse had even a hint of a hair coat.

Oh, and when did Novice Amateur mean 22 year olds? Where are all the old bags? I felt like a goddam geriatric case in my class, jealously eyeing the select classes, then thinking "them bitches are good too! Goddammit!"

I also learned that waiting for everyone else to screw up their go isn't the greatest strategy if you would like to place. Cause the bitches do NOT screw up their go's. Bitches. This has caused me to rethink my whole show strategy, cause that has pretty much been my plan up until now.

More is still brewing in my brain.

Ciao!