"delinquency spots" and hairy mistakes

This is the final part of the Robert Louis Stephenson Poem "Winter Time"

"Black are my steps on silver sod;
Thick blows my frosty breath abroad;
And tree and house, and hill and lake,
Are frosted like a wedding-cake."

My pony adds this:

"Brittle be the Solar Panel Cover
I rip it off and run around like a dork
My spotty friend, he tests, and finding no shock
wiggles his big speckled butt through yon fence
To eat of the forbidden grass."

My horse's poetry ain't so good, but he hasn't finished his master's yet. Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber tried the equine version of "The Great Escape" yesterday. Well, I think my pony didn't know he was helping, because he would never do anything so obviously naughty. My pony found the cover to the solar panel offensive to his creative eye and ripped it off like any true artistic soul would. His pasture bud (and my sister's horse) seized this opportunity to stuff himself through the fence and stand there, eating. I see now that being horribly spotty is a symptom of a devious mind! Leopard appaloosa, indeed! Delinquent, more like, humpf!

My topic today is Friesians and Gypsy Vanner horses. I know what you all are thinking, Oh please everyone makes fun of those. But really, there is so much to laugh at, I can't pass it up!

Everyone who owns horses knows the stereotypical kook horse owners. Some breeds attract them like white on rice, and friesians and gypsy vanners are particular favorites of these sad little folks. These owners are usually those who really have no business owning horses, they know nothing, they don't listen and they sure as hell don't ride. Let me paint you a picture, these are the ones who listen to Enya, whale music and have scraggly long hair, just like their horses.

Here is an excerpt from a breeding farm web site:

Baroque breeds are skilled in dressage, particularly high school collected movements. They are prized for their docile temperaments, when paired with their fiery movement these are a pair of traits almost never found occurring in the same animal apart from Baroque breeds and highly sought after and loved. They have lovely thick manes and tails, and love to learn. Baroque breeds typically mature slowly and go through an ‘ugly duckling’ stage before they transform into the swan we dream of by the age of 6 or 7.

If you appreciate the wisdom of the ages, and understand that sometimes the way our ancestors did things was the right way. If you long for your own living relic and you believe there is no reason to change perfection, the Baroque horse might be for you.

I couldn't make this stuff up! These are the people responsible for "friesian fantasy art" like this: (I can't make them bigger because these images cause brain hemorrages)


And This




These are typical of the kind of crap you see on these sites, but there is also lots of shots of horses running at liberty blech. When people do try to ride these "horses" the result must always be something akin to this:



And this:


and this:



Friesian and Gypsy Vanner people love to tie little bells to things, their horse's raggedy mane, around their wrists, on thier belly dancing outfit for middle eastern day at the renaissance festival. I think this is because when thier horse dumps them, they can follow the ringing bells and find it again. All this hair is making me queazy so I will sign off now. Remember don't make the "hairy mistake" and steer clear of these baroque nightmares.
Ciao!