Today, I have a really great topic which someone pointed me towards, I now must suspend making fun of stupid horse breeds to address this completely hilarious topic.
Animal comunicators, specifically Lydia Hiby at lydiahiby.com. This person is, apparently, "the most sought after animal communicator around" Well I'm convinced. Lydia also has testimonials on her site, here is a good one:
"The first time I called upon Lydia for help was several years ago when our horse had a lameness problem. Two veterinarians were having trouble finding the cause. I had Lydia talk to the horse. I wrote down everything that she said, so that I wouldn't get anything wrong. When the veterinarian returned to do more testing, I mentioned that I had spoken to Lydia. I was told, 'I deal in science, not magic.' After several hundred dollars worth of X-rays, etc., guess what? Lydia was right. Everything the test showed matched exactly to what I had written down. The horse was given special pads and shoes (even the angle of the wedge was correct). The horse has been sound ever since. Lydia is a Savior to people, as well as animals. It is a joy to know that when problems arise, Lydia can let you know what direction to take. I will be eternally greatful for all Lydia does."
So, let me get this straight, it wasn't the x-rays or your farrier, it was the horse who knew the proper angles of the wedges. O.k. and the angle of my boot in your ass is 90 degrees (actually that sounds about right! yay for me.) Her poor, poor vet and farrier, can you imagine the cringing that went on when they recieved the phone call telling them that Ol' Dusty has finally communicated how he would like his angles. Christ on a bike!
It gets better, of course this kook is going to be at, what else? Equine Affaire! Hooray! now after I buy my Tucker saddle and sit through a lecture on de-spooking my backyard puke, I will just mosey on over to ol' Lydia's tent and ask her why the T.B. likes being a dork so much. I like equine affaire because anyone who went and liked it, or went more than once, is someone I can steer clear of. Its like the red badge of backyard.
This little gem is from the FAQ page of another one of these geniuses (and I mean that sincerely, can you imagine having to do less work for this kind of money?)
"Can we work with my animal if he isn't with me?
Yes, and he does not even have to be awake for this to "work" though most people enjoy being with their animals during a consultation."
Hmmm, not around or even asleep huh? let me guess why this might work, o that's right because you're MAKING IT UP!
"Can you tell me what's wrong with him physically?
I am not a veterinarian and can't diagnose or treat disease. Your animal may give us very specific symptoms or feelings that may help your vet in developing a treatment plan, and we can help your animal be easier about what's going on with his treatment."
At least in giving themselves an out, they might have inadvertantly helped the poor animal by refusing to give a medical diagnosis, thank god for small miracles. By the way, I know a way to help an animal be easier about what is going on with it's treatment, tranq. It's probably cheaper, too.
"That's OK, but I still want to test if this is real.
I can understand you may want to test, but please remember that our goal is your animal's well-being first and foremost. Please do not withhold important information about your animal as a "test." This will waste valuable appointment time and impair our ability to hear what we really need to hear."
Do I really need to comment on this? (Web Page: )
This is from the Bio page of the "animal-whisperer" (can that just die, please?)It is pure internet gold!
"Susan was born in Buffalo, New York. Her family first lived with her Irish grandmother down the street from the Buffalo Zoo where the song of the hungry lions filled the air every afternoon...One day she waded out in the water to free Hot Rod, her goldfish, to swim in the Georgian Bay, convinced he wanted a spin in the "big water." That he would return safe when he was through. As an adult, Susan can only imagine her parents’ astonishment and relief when the fish swam away then back again into the waiting bowl... black Labrador Retriever named Luther, a gentle giant, was the greatest teacher of all. She still doesn't know how he did it, but it was from Luther she learned about medical miracles, and about how an animal can show us how to walk the hero's walk with them"
Really, there is a lot of crap in that excerpt but read it, it is truly hilarious. Below is another one from some other broad, honestly do any men do this? Actually no man would do this, what I should ask is Does any human with testicles do this? No, the uteris' have it, hands down. Here are some random images of "comunicators" Please, let me know if any of you are surprised.
Here is a testimonial: (web page:!)
"Thank you so much for the session. My riding lesson after your work was amazing. Breeze was completely relaxed. While I was tacking her up, my coach came down from the arena to tell me that it was chaotic in there and he prepared me to expect that Breeze would be unfocused. Once there a horse named Boom exploded. Breeze was full of calm energy. I’ve never seen her so focused and unresponsive to outside stimuli. Normally she would be focused on everything else but me. My coach lunged her for 5 minutes, and even with all the hullabaloo going on, she was amazing."
First off, I hope you aren't paying your "coach" much, cause she obvioulsy sucks. Secondly, lemme go crazy and suggest that you are over-mounted on a OTTB (not T.B. as in "turd burgler" -those are perfect) and you cant ride for crap, at least this is what your puke "Breeze" told me, while he was laughing at you, your coach and the communicator behind your back.
O.K. no, really there is more, this is a message, through the "comunicator" from a race horse to its owner:
A Message for a Veterinarian client from a racehorse
through Lynn McKenzie (reprinted with permission)
“Do not pine for my physical presence for I am with you each and every day. Your flow with me was magic, this allowed for the expansion of ‘all that is’, our love and joy. When your heart feels full, you will sense my presence. It is this sensing that will help you with the others, those who run, and those who fall. While there is pain on the physical realm, there is but pure joy on this realm. Our connection allowed for you, glimpses of this, on your plane.
What you saw in me was just a reflection of yourself, for you are but a vast being of pure love and joy, with a heart as big and open as any on your plane."
The emphasis is mine, but ol' lynn hit it, didn't she, its all about you, isn't it?
O.K., I really have to stop now, Thanks again R, there is like 10 billion blogs worth of this junk!!!
Ciao
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