Old lady Wigs and Cheap Horse Owners

Hello, well last night I went out to visit my horse, and he is doing just fine, his lip is healing nicely as far as I can tell and the chunk he took out of it should not be too noticable. He isn't smelling too great, however, there is a funky poo-ish aroma centered somewhere around his head, and by god I am going to find out what it is, I have ruled out his actual head, his cut lip, his slinky and neck warmer, so I think I have it narrowed down to his halter, you cant tell by looking at it but damn, it smells very poo-y! (must be someone else's poo, cause his smells like fresh baked bread and roses)

I punked out when I got to the barn and just lunged him cause it was really freaking cold, I determined he is still beautiful, and commenced to combing his beautiful, glimmering mane. That is where the "old lady wig" part came in. I don't really know what happens when you put a slinky/hood combo on in the winter, but DAMN it is not pretty. His mane is now the consistency of the hair of a well-loved Barbie doll :

Mmmmmmm, preety!

It doesn't help that his mane is the color of dyed old lady hair, or the ever popular "old lady wig" as seen below: bleck! it really almost isn't worth putting the

hood on!

Today's topic is cheap horse owners, not owners who try to spend money wisely, but owners who won't part with a nickel to make their lives easier or to do something properly.

One of my favorites is pasture board, now before anyone (or the few people who I insist read this) jump on me, let me explain. Sometimes the intention behind something is the reason I label people as cheap-ass, not the actual act itself. For instance if your horse is a nightmare in a stall, kicks, screams and is a generally a pain in the ass, by all means pasture board it, if your horse is old, with creaky joints and respiratory problems, please, pasture board it. If your horse stocks up, go for it. But here is what ticks me off, if you are pasture boarding because it is cheap, you are a cheap-ass, because you are going to be the one who insists that the horses be brought in when the weather is too nasty, yet you will refuse to pay extra because , after all, you are on "pasture board". You are the ones who bitch when your horse gets rain rot, yet you refuse to pay extra to have it dry off at night. You are also the ones who buy cheap ass blankets for your horses, yet get pissed off when you aren't allowed to show in winter because your horse is too hairy. In short, you suck.

Another cheapo classic is the "natural hoof trim" . If your horse can go without shoes (my sister's does) and NOT BE SORE FOR A MONTH AFTER PULLING THEM, by all means, have at it. But I know most of you natural hoof people are just cheap, and like O.J., I will never get a conviction, but you and I and everyone else knows it is just because you are a cheap-ass. You will holler to the great Parelli God that this is not the case, that you just want what is "natural" for your horse, but you will never, ever, ever, ever convince me you aren't a cheap-ass, cause you are a cheap-ass.

On to showing...

Buy a goddamn fake tail, I have touched on this before, but I really need to bring it up again. Your horse's tail is NOT full and long enough, I am very, very certain of this. I know one horse, ONE, who might be able to show without a fake, but they don't. You are just being cheap, again everyone knows this. If a fake tail is going to break the bank, you aren't ready to show yet. I am not talking 4-H here, I am talking nice open or breed shows.

Next we have the "borrowers" people who show A LOT yet refuse to buy their own crap. How many times do you have to borrow something before your realize you might fucking NEED it and that it would be ever-so-much-more-convenient if you actually had one of you flipping own? Here is the thing, you want to borrow other peoples nice stuff, but when you ruin it, (which you will because you are the kind of asshole who is too cheap to have your own stuff, but doesn't mind crapping up borrowed stuff) you won't replace it, clean it or otherwise make good for it. That is why you are a cheap ass and you suck.

What else, oh yeah, if your horse should be on supplements, injections or otherwise some kind of maintenance program, would you just fork it over so your horse isn't sore, crippled or unhappy? Jeez!

Don't bicker and bargain with your trainer about their costs, if you don't like it, go somewhere else. Do you know how much good will you can undo by arguing over 10 measly bucks for wormer, or sand clear? In short, as I end most of my posts, don't be an asshole.

Ciao!