The Burglar Dominates and "Stupid Science"

Well I am back from the "Winter Spectacular". I don't know how spectacular it was, but I did pretty well. The T.B. was very good in our western pleasure class, this was our weakest class and we managed respectable placings in it. Horsemanship was a mixed bag, we knocked OUT our first pattern and placed really high, but sort of whizzed the rail work on the Ammy pattern. (how many times do I have to tell the T.B that this is not a race!!!) I don't know how he manages it but the T.B. succeeded in falling over on the way into the field the day we leave for the show. Apparently running forward whilst looking backward is not in the Turd Burglar's bag of tricks. You know it really is a good thing I don't do showmanship, because the Burgler looked like he was attacked by wild dogs. With the chunk out of his lip, (my trainer said he had an Elvis snarl), cuts on his big dumb legs and a huge bite out of his neck hair, he was not so pretty! Aside from cutting off most of my index finger on a dag nabbit horse shaver again both myself and the Burgler made it through the weekend in one piece.

Today's topic is "stupid horse science" and I will start with "Dr." Cooks Bitless Bridle. Wow, really you should check out his website for yourself: www.bitlessbridle.com. It's worth a look. Before I go on I would like to say that I do not care if some kook refuses to put a bit in their horse's mouth. Chances are (and trusting that god is mercifull) I will never be where they are and won't get to see the resulting hilarity, but I have a problem with soft-science crap like this choking up the brains of the feeble minded backyard kook. Here is a quote from "Dr." (PhD)Cook's website:

"when a bit is in place, sensory pathways signal the brain to think eat. Accordingly,the chewing reflex is invoked and the horse starts lip, tongue and jaw movements. Reflex salivation is also stimulated. Now the horse is saddled and set in motion, which signals the brain to think exercise. In this way a physiological conflict is set up between two incompatible functions. During exercise the sympathetic nervous system is dominant, whereas during eating it is the parasympathetic."

Um, "Dr" Cook, I don't believe you, I think you are full of crap. Stating something, and adding crap words like "parasympathetic" doesn't make it true. Let's start with "when a bit is in place, sensory pathways signal the brain to think eat.. Really? well since you have a PEE AITCH DEE and all I guess you know what you are talking about. But hey, I'll give the guy a break, lets all pretend that this is true, well then, the "Dr." insists that "Accordingly,the chewing reflex is invoked and the horse starts lip, tongue and jaw movements." then goes on to assert that these are 1. This always happens - crap - and that 2. it is not good -utter crap-. Prove it. You cant, but since you sound all "sciencey" you get kooky horse idiots to spend $115 to $200 bucks on your crap headstall that you cant show in (thank god for small favors) when a $15 dollar one from TSC would do just fine. "Dr." Cook you suck, and thanks, a-hole, for making a bunch of holier-than-thou backyard yahoos. thanks a lot.

The next I will admit, I have yet to see in action. But have NO DOUBT that some loon out there is happily spending their money on this crap. It is called "red light therapy" (Oh, I know, believe me it gets better) and here is the link http://www.karenscholl.com/shoppt.html. Good ol' Karen claims that this is "kind of like" accupressure and accupuncture but comes with a laminated chart and "photonic light" for $600 bucks. Their website claims "Popularly known as a "Red Light", the Light Therapy Torch is the only light treatment system which can be scientifically explained." Yay! alright, let's hear it Karen. Of course the link to the "scientific explanation" reveals: "In physics, we discuss that part of the electromagnetic theory, where electricity, gravity, and magnetism are all part of the one phenomenon. These are forces that can be measured and used, but as they cannot be seen, a number of concepts have been used to explain their characteristics. The points I wish to discuss relate to light, wavelength, colour, magnetic lines of force, and electric fields." Ugh, it goes on from there, but honestly, come on.

The next is equine chiropractors. I think that human chiropractors are quacks so can you imagine what I think of this dubious practice. The only one I ever saw in action would stack up two hay bales and basically ram on a horse's back. Now because the owner was a kooky "dressage" rider that never rode, she claimed it worked. I think it is crap.

Sorry this is so wordy with no good pictures, I promise I will have something visually stimulating tomorrow!

Ciao!