**Note to the 3 people who read this blog, I am now moderating comments 1) because I can, and 2) because aparently that chick from Fugly keeps coming over and posting inane comments from herself and some other "anonymous" person and although they SAID they were done and would quit coming because I had nothing educational on my blog (WTF?!?!). What they want is the last word, and, as all of you that know me understand, that ain't gonna happen. Nor do I want to spend my time answering really lame barbs from Fugly freaks. Ha Ha Ha, eat it Fuglies.**
My totally and completely unrelated topic today is about my new favorite type of horse people, crabby dried up has beens and never was-es. They have ALL the info and they will crabbily share it with you whether you want it or not. See, you are doing it wrong, I don't care what it is, its wrong and stupid, ugh! why do I even bother! Uber bitchy "classical" riding bitches. These are the ones who "trained" with some trainer I am supposed to have heard of (people, I do QH, I do not know any of your so-called "masters" so name dropping really isn't helping) about 400 years ago when the flunked out of college. So they hung around Karl Shmizenhauzer (I made that up) and "learned how to really ride" but never actually won anything or went anywhere.
Look, my grandpa claims to have danced with Flo Ziegfeld, but guess what gramps? NOBODY CARES nor do I want to hear how crappily the "kids today" are dancing. 
Anyway, I digress, these old bags, who can't bring themselves to ride anymore because everything sucks so much now-a-days, often open up "Rescues" . Mmmmm sounds nice doesnt it? poor embittered has beens giving all their attention to their 45 year old lame blind three legged broodmares? If you kiss their ass, A LOT, they might take you in as their little toady, then you can listen to all the stories about how riders today don't know crap, and if they had studied with Xenophon like she had, well things might just not suck so much.
Anyway, I digress, these old bags, who can't bring themselves to ride anymore because everything sucks so much now-a-days, often open up "Rescues" . Mmmmm sounds nice doesnt it? poor embittered has beens giving all their attention to their 45 year old lame blind three legged broodmares? If you kiss their ass, A LOT, they might take you in as their little toady, then you can listen to all the stories about how riders today don't know crap, and if they had studied with Xenophon like she had, well things might just not suck so much. These ladies cannot laugh, because nothing is funny, you see, not when poor no-headed Tennesee Walking horses with cushings, laminitis and scurvy are suffering, you unfeeling asshole!
Why bother showing those droopy, on-the-forehand western horses you whipper snappers seem to love these days? Don't you know I already won everything worth winning? well, my trainer Quetzalquoatol, the ancient native american master did, anyway, and I was there! Well, they hadn't invented horse shows then, but if they had he would have rocked. So Agnes or Petunia or whatever their names are just sort of HANG AROUND horse events and mutter stuff under their breath, hoping someone will say "I'm sorry, did you say something?". Don't ever do that, it is like blowing the horn for the Kraken! YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!!!!!!!
They are always unmarried or divorced (gosh I wonder why? they seem so pleasant) childless, and totally broke. They are broke because they spend all their money going to auctions and picking up the latest hard luck story, then they can tsk tsk all the people who did nothing, NOTHING! but stand by while the 75 year old no-eyed former cart horse was going to go to the meat buyers!! They hate slaughter, or love it , I stop paying attention right about then.
Only THEY , the anointed ones, can see a diamond in the rough, you see the horse on the right? all it needs is some groceries. That one is a beautiful horse, I must buy it and maybe even breed it cause only I know what I am doing. all it needs is a little food and all my love!They love the Dr. Cooks bitless bridle, because you know EVERYTHING they own now was abused by some show person see-sawing on their horses mouth. But in reality they ride maybe 3 times a year so go for it Beulah! I love when they roll into a show, cause then you actually get to hear all the reasons why they didn't win (which they never do) "well that kid kept running up on us!" "my horse was abused by a clipboard before so he is scared of the judge" "well if I paid 40 kagillion dollars for my saddle I would win too" no, you wouldn't Agnes, you wouldn't.
Now I've done it!
Ciao!
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